A Vent Post and Why

Im floored I don't know how to say this and Im sure Zach is tired of hearing it to so I'm going to do a little bit of venting, bitching, and whining so you all  have been for warned. It started about a month ago as many of you know from my previous post that my MIL boyfriend has passed away after hanging on for almost 5 weeks now from a motorcycle wreck. Im done asking why questions to Zach as he has to say is dont listen to her (his mom) as she is not thinking straight thats fine but it still pisses me off. Ive been really sad this week for Mallory and Marys death has once again hit me hard. It all started a few weeks ago when Debbie was telling me when she was talking to Ron she told him that when he got to Heaven you go find my baby girls and tell them that there Mimi misses them WTF really lady you didn't even mention to him that there big brother Hudson and there Mommy and Daddy miss them so much that I can barley make it threw the day without them in my arms. Why would you even tell me that I mean it was even a low for her and she might not have been thinking but it really hurt me I know she was the grandma but those were are babies our baby girls not hers. Im sorry if Im being selfish but thats how I fill and I guess his death has really brought up more fillings about the girls. Last night Zach went up to the hospital and as the nurses told them that Ron wasn't going to be here much longer I told Zach to whisper in his ear and tell him that I said You go find our baby girls and tell them that there mommy misses them so much and would give anything for them to be back in my belly. Then again after he had passed away all she keep saying was I just keep telling him to go find the girls and tell them I miss them. My God Please Stop. It hurts me so bad and Im sorry if once again Im being selfish but Im still grieving for our girls and as soon as I think its getting  alittle better it hits me even harder. but i fill really bad about bitching in this post because she did just lose her boyfriend of a year but they were are girls if you were going to include anyone at all include all of us I know this might be petty but thats how I fill.

Ron you are going to be missed, earth is going to be a little sadder but heaven will be a little brighter. You were a great Grampy Ron we love you......