Jealously

First off this is going to be a very strong post. Im upset when I shouldn't be, Im jealous and I definitely shouldn't be and I just fill like its wrong that I have these fillings. Here it is from the beginning. My childhood/high-school best friend just found out she was pregnant hold that thought FLASHBACK (when we were younger we would always talk about how neat it would be to have twins I mean like 6 or 7 years old who would of ever thought it would actually happen)OK now back to the PRESENT she sends out a thing on facebook saying she is pregnant I was really excited for her not upset excited. A few weeks later she sends me a picture of her U/S I said it looks like two babies! are there two babies in there she said yes its twins My Heart Sank I was really happy for her but kinda upset to. I mean is this wrong. Its just really hard seeing her post stuff on FB about how blessed she is and God must think there great parents for blessing them with two babies I dont know what to do Im truly happy for her but Im just hurt I thought I was getting better but I guess I just buried the grief down so much that it is resurfacing again. Im just broken up about it. It almost makes me think that I wasn't good enough or my body wasn't good enough to carry my girls or I wasn't blessed enough. I just dont understand how these things work out I just keep telling my self God is in control. Im very blessed for my family. Just a little Broken...In my Heart...