Hudson is going to be 1 in 18 Days (oh yes the countdown has begun). So we have so much going on in August First and for most the 14th is Hudsons Birthday and Birthday Party we having been in party planning mood its not even funny. Then on the 15th we are having his 1 year old pictures done by Shannon Payne she does really great work and has shot his pictures before. Then on Aug 21-29 We are going on vacation it is much need and is going to be alot of fun. Zach,Me,Hudson,Auntie Sam and my Dad is going with us I cant wait.
Back to party planning mode. Last night we made his wreath its a ribbon wreath and turened out really cute, as well as a picture frame for him. Tonight we are going to wrap his birthday presents Im really pleased at how everything is turning out. We also got Pales to put the party favors in for all the kids. I could have not done it without Sam. Zach just sits back and watches and laughs and says I cant beleave you all are doing all this for him hes not going to remember but we will have pictures for him to see when he gets older. I ordered his Birthday Bib and his cakesmashing outfit from ETSY and it came last night so I'll post pictures of that tonight to it turned out really cute as well.
The invites have been sent out, going to order the cake today and then go and get tables for everyone to eat dinner at (Were feeding everyone cause the party is at 5) then order balloons and table cloths and get food and drinks and i think we might be set. Like I said I will post pictures of everything tonight I hope yall have a wonderful day.
The past few weeks I've been thinking that I want to change the way I live my life. I don't like the person I have become. Im very Bitter and have that Just Don't Care Attitude. I have a very negative outcome on everything including people and in life general. It had gotten even worse after the girls had passed away. I blamed God, I didn't understand why And I just gave up. I am now seeing a different light. I stopped asking God why and how could he do this to us. Im putting my faith and my trust back in and I know he has good things in store for us. I'm tired of living my life this way I want to have a great outlook on life and I want my son to see the good in life, not the bad or negative so we are going to do alittle church hoping and see what we like if anyone from Memphis has a church out there that they like please email me and let me know. Were going to start Sunday. Its going to be kinda hard breaking my old habits but hey its going to take time and I know he doesn't mind. It's time to move on and it's time to start living for today and most of all it's time to Heal my Broken Heart.....
July 20,2010 this was supposed to be my Due Date of where my baby girls would have been born, they were supposed to be born, not in March when they came. I dont even know what to say I'm deeply saddened today and i just want to curl up and cry, Yes granted they would have come much earlier than today but today is still the Due Date. Instead of me being in the hospital having my most precious and amazing little girls I will be at the cemetery putting new flowers and Angels on there grave. This was not how I wanted this day to be and I wasn't wanting to visit the girls this way, I want them in my arms. I will just snuggle up to my sweet baby Hudson. It was crazy when the girls were born and how much they resembled him.
I Miss You Baby Girls More Than You Will Ever Know, But I Know Yall Are Watching Over Us. I Love You and Miss You So Much. Love Mommy........
ETSY that's it and I think everyone will agree with me. I just ordered Hudson his 1st Birthday Bib and a cute outfit for him to eat cake in... Yes my child is a tiny bit spoiled he will have to outfit changes during his party. One to start the party in and then one to eat cake in HeHe. I hope y'all have a great weekend and I'm now blogging from my I phone.
So yes my sweet little baby boy is 11 Months I cant believe how much his personality has changed in the past few weeks. He is getting so big so fast its kinda sad. Anyways here is what Hudson is up to at 11 months.
~One Im not proud of He can throw a fit like its nobodies business
~He can stand by himself for a pretty good amount of time
~Done with most of the baby food (the last bit is about to run out) other than that he eats with us big pep food
~He has two bottom teeth so cute I love when he smile at me and you can see them
~Takes 2 naps during the day
~Loves eating and throwing a fit when the food runs out
~Barley in size 3 diapers
~Wears 12 months in clothes
~Can say Ba Ba, Mama, Dada, Dog, Belle, Yeah and a few more babbles
~Takes 3 bottles morning,mid day, bedtime
~Does not like to be held allot Mr Independent
Laughs all the time, crawls, loves everything but his toys (cords,coasters,pots,pans,etc)
Im probly leaving a lot out Im trying to multi task ha
We are in full blown party planning mode, Got invitations, ordering decorations from etsy, ordering the cake and more more more this weekend. Ive got my list and Im checking it off.
Well I was told at work today that I was not a Team Player because I wouldn't help one of the lazy ass girls to help do her job (um Im not the vault teller, Im not getting paid extra to do you job UM K THANKS) now back to where I was So I frankly told her I was busy doing some of our test that we had to do. So for that Im not a team player... Just let me tell you why Im not a team player anyway as you all know who ever has been following me for a while I lost my twin baby girls in the beginning of March They told me to take off so I took off for two weeks (which was not long enough) we had to plan a funeral and get everything prepared. Well about a month ago my boss comes to me to tell me I had gotten wrote up and that I needed to sign this piece of paper for being gone when the girls passed away WTF up until that point I loved loved loved my job I would do anything for them come in early stay later if I needed to but since I got wrote up it a whole nother ball game Im pissed I HATE MY JOB but I go cause I like some of the people who work there ( I said some)haha but other than that I told them that it was bullshit that I got wrote up its not like I wanted this to happen my god I would doing anything possible to have my girls with us again. So folks me being bitter because they wrote me up because the girls death= me not being a Team Player........Sorry once you piss me off on a stupid reason like that I get just A LOT little bitter and yes I do hold a grudge pretty well to if I do say so myself.
So no Im not a Team Player. I will never ever go out of my way for them anymore..
PS why did she wait so long to write me up for the girls....I dont understand
Thanks for reading my vent post any way my Due Date for the girls was supposed to be July 20 in 7 days please pray that I get through that hard day....
Long Post Alert Im Sorry but I Threw in A Few Pictures To Break It Up
Hudson Helping Me Do Dishes
So Zach and I finally had the Big Talk last week. I told him that I wanted to get off my birth control in August so my body will be clear and everything out of my system so we can start trying again in the fall after Hudson's 1st Birthday. We always knew we wanted the kids to be close together and were ready to start trying again. This is what I want and this is what I need. We are very firm with our decision and we will not be telling any family of our plans because frankly its none of there business we dont want to be told we should wait we dont want to be told its to soon and last but not least I dont think its a good idea as we plan to get pregnant around Christmas Time an the beginning of the year I would love to have a Fall/Halloween Baby. I just want another baby. Im physical ready and this is what we want. Im ready and I will start to prepare my body for getting ready I will be going to the gym everyday rather than every other day and I will start taking my vitamins again. Im very happy with my decision and Im ready to get started again.
On another not we had a wonderful weekend it started off Friday which was kinda a sad day for me between putting a contract on a house getting pressured to buy Zachs moms house (I think she is ready to go and move on after everything she has been threw in that house) she would really like us to buy it from her but its just not enough room for us with Zachs office and all our stuff to fit in the home or park the cars and trailers. Thats another post for another day although I would love that house Zach and I have so many memories in that house from when we were little. So with my emotions running crazy that day I just needed a good cry and zach was there for me. He asked what I wanted to do that night and I told him I really just wanted to stay home and eat take out and watch movies. It was so much fun and so low key.
Who me Im not doing anything Mom
Saturday was a new day I kinda felt refreshed and needed some retail therapy so Hudson and I woke up to the door bell ringing bright and early and who was it Auntie Sam we always have so much fun together Zach always jokes that we are each others shadows Ha So what did we do grab Hudson and did some shopping as always Hudson lucked up and got some new outfits and we went and got some party favors for his Birthday. Then came home and zach grilled it was so fun.
Love this picture he reminds me of Billy Joel
And now for Today it was super low key just us playing with Hudson and cleaning and making dinner. Im sorry for the long post and who ever made it threw Thanks. Ill leave you with some weekend pictures of Hudson. I hope everyone has a wonderful week.
Today is July 9, 2010. Today is a Bad Day for me. Today is a Sad Day. Today is a mer 11 Days of when I was supposed to be having my Mallory Grace and Mary Grace my sweet baby girls. As the days approach it makes me sad that I had them just 4 months earlier as Im reading other peoples blogs who have experienced a loss in a baby/babies it makes me incredibly sad. I miss my girls more than ever and its been really hard the past few weeks I cant believe there gone this is not how it was supposed to be in a few weeks we were supposed to be bringing our baby girls home to there big brother it was not supposed to happen this way as I go on I still get mad and angry and sad. I told Zach that I kinda wanted to go to church this Sunday I think that would be good for us but Im sill very angry with myself, just with everyone and everything. This was not how it was supposed to be, they should be in there mommy and daddy's arms. Im just speechless.......... I Miss My Baby Girls.....Life is not Fair......
At 4:00 pm tommorrow we will be trying to put a contract on a house. Maybe all will be great and go well it's kinda a fixer upper bit it has land and is so pretty I can see all our kids growing up and playing there. We are going to make an offer and we will see what they bring to the table. I'll keep y'all updated I hope y'all have a great hump day.
We had so much fun this weekend It was really great and we all needed it. The whole family came in from New Mexico, Bowling Green and so forth. It started off Friday I got off work at 1:00 which was no big deal then I got home and Auntie Sam came over while Zach went to work for a bit so Sam, Hudson and I went to our favorite store Target to pick up a few things. Then Saturday we got up and ready to have some fun. Hudson loves the water and we work with him almost every single day were teaching him how to swim and go under water and he loves going under water here is a picture of him going all the way under. He already knows how to hold his breath.
Now please dont freak out we were there the whole time we do this in swimming classes
then after that Sam and I made another Target run to go buy him a wagon we thought since the poor baby dont have enough stuff ha-ha he needed a wagon for the fireworks. We go every year and the MIL is in charge of them so we always make an appearance. He loved his wagon we put Amber his cousin in there with him to kinda hold on to him and feed him a bottle on the way home. We didn't know how he would do with the loud noise but he loved them which was great.
Here are some pictures of the us at the fireworks.
Nana and Mimi
This one is my all time favorite
I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July and thanks to all our troops fighting over seas and to Tyler we miss and love you and come home safe.
Here are Hudson's Invitations and I LOVE LOVE Them. She did a really great job on them.
Here is the Picture of it Let me know what yall think.
Im going to go ahead and order the rest of the party stuff from ETSY This is so much fun I cant believe that hes about to be one. O and another bottom tooth popped up today. I hope yall have a great 4th of July.