Monday, January 3, 2011
19 Weeks
Today I am 19 weeks along with Baby Boy M. I would be lying if I said I was not terrified going into these next 2 weeks. Ever since Ive had the Ultra sound Thursday its just been laying heavy on my heart even though they say not to worry I do. Im just really lost and scared of something happening to this baby I dont know if I could handle losing another baby. Yesterday had marked the 10 months period of the twins bening gone it was really sad and to top it off im really sick with a cold and just fill like crap and no medicane is doing anything for me. I keep going to my best friend Google cause I just like having the crap scared out of me and doing some research on low lying plancteas and it just makes me worry I want to beleave that everything my drs tell me will be right but Its kinda hard some where deep down I dont trust them I dont trust anybody when it comes to the health of this baby. I guess because of what happened with the girls I wanted this pregnancy to go as smooth as possible I want to start buying cute little clothes but Im scared to. I know this is stupid but I dont want to jinx myself and something happen anyway Im just a little on edge this week because this is when I started going into labor with the girls and not knowing it untill it was too late and that rolled into the 20th week of pregnancy. If you could just keep us in your prayers please that my problem fixes itself in the next few weeks and that I make it past the 20 weeks mark. Come on 5 weeks that is our next goal not that he better come then but it will be VIABILITY!!! Keep baking for 21 more weeks baby boy. Mommy loves you...
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You and that precious baby will be in my prayers. I would be just as anxious also (I'm sorry I know that's not really encouraging but maybe makes you feel a little better that you would not be alone in your feelings?) Before every appt with James, I would get down on my knees and pray that everything was alright. I know this is a hard part of the pregnancy for you because of the girls. Try to stay away from google- no good will come from playing doctor on google! (I do it all the time and freak myself out thinking James's allergies are really some disease. Hang in there! Try not to stress! Make hub be your slave and you rest and relax as much as possible! Ps I love the new header!
ReplyDeletepraying for you and sweet baby boy...
ReplyDeleteAnd I know it cannot be easy, going through what you have gone through (I can't imagine.) Just lean on the Lord and remember that He is GOOD and that He will see you through! And yes, stay away from Google! For your own good! The baby can probably sense your stress so just take one day at a time, and every time you even start to think anxiously or worry, just tell God to take that concern and you give it straight to Him! He asks us to, after all! "Cast all your care on Him, because He cares for you..."